I really wish I knew whether these good days were in any way contingent on me 'doing stuff right', by which I mean like NOT reacting to my preexisting symptoms (exhaustion, weird chemical depression for nothing, irritability, erratic!hyper!moods!RAR!YAY!RAR!) in ways that make this shit worse.  I know doing that stuff makes it worse.  Now, the ( Read more... )

Surprising absolutely no one who's seen me go through this cycle roughly 340843498208454 times before, today I feel better.  Isn't it just peachy KEEN to know that all this weird moody shit I go through begins and ends with miniscule little shifts in biochemistry and not whole bloody lot else?  Dude- biology can totally kinda dress itself up like ( Read more... )

I guess this is boring, but I should mention this stuff.  Especially since I bitched all over my LJ about it.

I've been having problems with fatigue in the morning (and afternoon sometimes, it's like it gets going and won't quit).  Which is horrible news, since I love the morning to bits!  Morning is me time.  It's the best damn time of day other ( Read more... )

In-betweenness.  I don't have much to say about it.

Mostly I just want to say, half to myself, half in the hopes of getting-it-down-on-the-internet-so-I-will SOMEHOW remember (or be more likely to remember)...

..that all I really want to do with my life is live the whole artist thing.  I wanna draw and write.  If I can do that, I'm happy.  I was just ( Read more... )

Had riot act read to my yesterday by She Who Must Be Obeyed and The Alpha Of The Universe (that is, my parents.)  They were not very happy with me!  So today I am getting ass in gear.. and I suppose I feel glad that I have been given (massive understatement) a very clear direction of action.  Stuff to do.  Got lots of that ( Read more... )

And I'm pleased to note that it was ok simply because I hauled ass to gym and applied ass to elliptical and treadmill and weights at the appropriate times.  And there's probably something to be said for using milder caffeine-delivery systems like black tea rather then rocket fuel black COFFEEEE.  Yay cardio.  I like it when it's my own actions that ( Read more... )

Which is a certain talent/annoying thing about her.

Hauling ass to gym in the early morning like clockwork, just engaging the clockwork-automata part of my legs to move my butt there, regardless of whether I feel like it or not...

..helps a lot.

I know I only feel good (or rather, I feel good because) exercise pumps beta-endorphin like a mofo and I' ( Read more... )

I am a freak for getting such a charge out of the changing seasons.  But I do, I 'smell' them coming.  I remember being 13 years old (and totally pissed off just as a standard operating procedure) and hanging out forlornly on the balcony of my parents' (in retrospect, gorgeous) late victorian red-brick gingerbread house in the Ottawa Valley.  It ( Read more... )

I feel a bit better nooooow!

This calls for a change in font color.  If I didn't want to park butt in drawing!time as soon as possible, I'd search around for the html for that big!sparkly!font! I see around.

I feel better because rather then kick and scream about my blood sugar (and neurochemistry) being FUBARed, I am trying to just sort of accept ( Read more... )

( Read more... )